Finding Your Voice: Navigating Language and Identity in a New Country

by Estéfane Frizzo

Published Jun 9, 2025

Did you ever find yourself in another language? When I first moved out of my own country for work,  and stayed in India for two years, I realised that speaking and listening in English just didn’t “fit” like a suit. More like a jigsaw – It was like knowing all the pieces but not knowing how to put them together. There was a huge disconnect between knowing words and actually feeling them. I know this is a shared experience for many who relocate, especially for work in diverse cities such as Dubai and the Middle East.

I felt like I was having mechanical conversations instead of genuinely expressing myself. For example, the Portuguese word “coração” carries so much more meaning than just “heart” in English. There are many words like this, especially “saudade” which expresses missing someone in a very deep and meaningful way. I started feeling isolated, thinking this struggle was unique to me. But at some point, I wanted to express my opinion about certain matters and I wanted to explain it based on facts which I knew so well in Portuguese but I could not find the words in English, so I just let it go and agreed with people whose opinions I didn’t actually concur with.

Then, I watched an interview with Fernanda Montenegro, and it was a turning point. Hearing a public figure articulate the difficulty of feeling words in another language was so validating. It made me realise I wasn’t alone. I’ve also spoken with other migrants and expatriates and realised people usually feel the same. It depends a lot on how much they use the language for expressing their feelings. For someone who has the majority of friends or  partners speaking the same language, it’s definitely easier. In the work and social environment, the city of Dubai itself has a very mixed  identity. Every person you meet speaks a different language or communicates in a way that, sometimes, you do not agree with  or cannot understand. This struggle with language and identity is so universal for people living in multicultural cities. I struggled a lot at the beginning as I could not express my thoughts properly and this affected my sense of identity and belonging very strongly.

Gradually, English started to “settle in.” The turning point was during my first year at GRG. People speak a lot on the phone all the time, I was always focused on them to get the same language flow and then it just happened. I started thinking in English, making jokes, and feeling emotions in English. It became part of my identity. Using it at all times and places. Connecting more with people who speak English, rather than having relationships with Portuguese speakers only, helped me bridge the gap between speaking mechanically and feeling it emotionally. My sense of humour and thinking process still have a better flow in Portuguese. I still feel I am a bit ‘colder’ while speaking English as I still don’t connect with the words completely.

Looking back, I wish I had known that adapting is just a matter of time. My advice to anyone else feeling a language and meaning disconnect is to practice. Do not be shy or afraid. Keep on doing what you are doing, and it will happen eventually. I maintain my connection to my native language and culture with music and talking to people at home often. Personal relationships are key for you to own a second language with no gap. People are shaped by their emotions and relationships in general.

It’s like approaching a large  swimming pool, and you are trying to swim for the first time. At the beginning it will be hard, you will think about giving up and you might feel like you are drowning at times, but if you keep on trying eventually you will learn how to swim well. I hope readers take away that they are not alone in this journey. So many people have this feeling and eventually we get better and learn how to go forward.

Have you ever felt this shift when learning a new language?